First Message Examples for Dating Apps (Copy & Paste)
Your first message is your first impression, and on dating apps you don't get a second one. The difference between getting a reply and getting ignored usually comes down to one sentence. Not your looks, not your profile -- your opening message.
Here are 8 first-message templates organized by style. Use them as-is or adapt them to fit each profile. Either way, they work.
8 Examples You Can Use Today
1. The curious question (universal)
"I have a theory that everyone has one random skill nobody knows about. What's yours?"
2. The profile-specific compliment
"Your taste in [books/music/travel spots] is genuinely impressive. What got you into [specific thing]?"
3. The playful debate
"Important question: is a hot dog a sandwich? I need to know where you stand before this goes any further."
4. The relatable confession
"I'll be honest, I've rewritten this three times. But your profile is too interesting for a boring opener, so here we are."
5. The this-or-that
"Beach vacation or mountain cabin? I'm trying to figure out if we're compatible before I get invested."
6. The shared-interest deep dive
"Fellow [hobby] person! Okay, what's the one piece of advice you'd give a beginner? I'm always curious what people say."
7. The story starter
"Your travel photos are amazing. I just got back from [place] and I'm already planning the next trip -- where should I go?"
8. The low-key flirty
"I'm not usually this forward, but I think your profile just became my favorite thing I've seen today. The [specific detail] really got me."
Stop overthinking your texts
DateFlow Pro gives you 100+ proven templates so you always know what to say. Get more matches, better replies, and real dates.
Get DateFlow Pro — $39The 3-Step First Message Framework
- 1
Pick one specific detail
Choose one thing from their profile -- a photo, a prompt answer, a bio line. Specificity is what separates "interesting" from "generic."
- 2
Add your personality
React to that detail with your own voice. Be funny, genuine, or curious -- just be yourself. The goal is to sound like a real person, not a template.
- 3
Make it easy to reply
End with a question or a statement that invites a response. The lower the effort to reply, the higher your response rate.
Common Mistakes to Avoid
Sending the exact same message to every match
Have a template structure but swap in profile-specific details. A 10-second personalization makes a 10x difference.
Starting with "hey beautiful" or similar
Appearance-based openers feel generic. Lead with personality or curiosity instead.
Asking "how are you" as your first message
It's polite but boring. Skip the small talk and go straight to something interesting.
Writing a novel-length first message
Keep it to 1-3 sentences. Save the longer conversations for after they reply.
Ready to level up your dating game?
Get 190+ proven templates, conversation flows, and profile tips — everything you need to go from match to date.
Get DateFlow Pro — $39Frequently Asked Questions
Do first-message templates actually work?
Yes -- when you personalize them. Templates give you a proven structure. Adding specific details from each profile makes them feel original.
What's the best type of first message for dating apps?
Questions based on something specific in their profile consistently get the highest response rates across every app.
How many first-message templates are in DateFlow Pro?
DateFlow Pro includes 190+ templates across multiple categories -- openers, follow-ups, date invites, bios, and complete conversation flows.